It was the kind of relationship that made Wall Street tremble and Silicon Valley blush.
Donald Trump and Elon Musk — the MAGA Messiah and the Mars Messiah — formed a political bromance so strong, it briefly knocked Taylor and Travis off the gossip headlines.
When Elon Musk donated a jaw-dropping $288 million to the Trump campaign last year, sources said Donald Trump called it “the most beautiful gift ever given by a man who can afford 14 superyachts and still sleep in a cubicle.”
Elon Musk’s promotion to Head of the Department of Government Efficiency (a.k.a. The Great Firing Squad) made sense. Who better to cut bureaucracy than a man who lays off half his staff every Tuesday before brunch?
Together, they were unstoppable. Until… the pork came.
Donald Trump’s “The Big, Beautiful Bill”—Now With 300% More Pork
On Tuesday, the bromance hit DEFCON 5.
Elon Musk took to X (because of course he did) to blast Trump’s new spending package (US Budget Bill) as “a pork-filled abomination.”
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore,” he wrote, possibly while hurling Teslas at a dartboard shaped like Congress.
“This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination. Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.”
White House aides tried to spin it as “passionate tough love,” but insiders say Musk was seen changing his Twitter bio to:
“Single. No pork. No lies. Only rockets.”
The EV Tax Credit Massacre — “You’re Breaking My Battery, Donnie”
Nothing screams heartbreak like a broken tax incentive.
Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” slashed the $7,500 EV consumer credit, something Tesla had lobbied to save like it was the last battery pack on Earth.
Musk allegedly begged Trump behind closed doors. Some say he even offered to name a Tesla model after him. “The Trump Roadster” was floated briefly before being cancelled for looking too much like a golf cart on steroids.
Trump reportedly replied,
“Elon, it’s just a tax credit. Think of it as a motivational loss. A character arc for your electric soap opera.”
Musk did not laugh. Tesla’s profits dropped 71% in Q1. Meanwhile, Trump held a Tesla BBQ on the White House lawn in March to “show solidarity” — or as Musk privately called it, “the EV hostage cookout.”
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“I Wanted to Stay”—The Overstay That Wasn’t
Elon’s gig as a “special government employee” ended after the standard 130-day statutory limit. But the billionaire wasn’t ready to go.
According to Axios, Musk wanted to stay, despite “numerous blowups with Cabinet members,” including a brief yelling match with Mike Pompeo over who gets to control the White House espresso machine.
Trump’s team reportedly said no to an extension, citing “schedule conflicts, airspace issues, and Elon being generally exhausting.”
Musk’s internal Slack channel at SpaceX lit up with a single meme:
“Left on read by POTUS again.”
Musk: I Made Trump 2024 Happen, Now He Ghosted Me
Musk claims he swiped right on Trump’s campaign when no one else would. After donating millions and becoming the “First Bro,” he’s now been left on read—publicly dumped like a used Tesla tire. “All I asked for was an EV tax credit and eternal loyalty,” Musk wrote on X. Meanwhile, Trump replied, “He’s upset because we unplugged his subsidies.” Somewhere in the White House, a Tesla charger weeps.
Starlink Denied — “You Can’t Run Airports on Wi-Fi, Elon”
Elon’s dreams of fully satelliting the American air traffic system were shot down harder than a Chinese spy balloon.
Musk had pitched Starlink to the Federal Aviation Administration, believing satellites could solve every problem, including but not limited to flight delays, long TSA lines, and family members who refuse to mute on Zoom.
One FAA official was overheard muttering,
“You can’t just unplug Chicago O’Hare and plug it into a satellite like it’s a PlayStation.”
Musk called the rejection “anti-innovation.” Trump called it “just Elon being Elon.”
Steve Bannon, from the shadows, called it: “A win for Earth-based patriots.”
The NASA Nominee Who Vanished
The final straw? Jared Isaacman — billionaire pilot, amateur astronaut, and Democratic donor — was pulled as Trump’s NASA nominee.
Isaacman, a longtime Musk ally, was a curious pick to begin with. But when the nomination was yanked faster than a booster rocket misfire, all hell broke loose.
Inside sources say Sergio Gor (Trump’s personnel director and Steve Bannon’s part-time dungeon master) orchestrated the move as a final insult.
“It was an out-the-door f*** you,” claimed one unnamed aide, now working for SpaceX under the alias “RocketBoi92.”
Trump’s people said it had more to do with Isaacman’s sketchy donor history than with Elon. But as one official put it:
“Perception is reality, and I’m pretty sure Elon thought the NASA thing was the nuclear breakup text.”
Steve Bannon, Jealous Frenemy from Hell
In every reality show romance, there’s a shady ex who lurks in the background, whispering chaos into everyone’s ear. That role, naturally, goes to Steve Bannon, who’s hated Musk since Musk claimed “aesthetic integrity matters.”
Bannon publicly gloated that the relationship started souring when Trump refused to share Pentagon attack plans against China with Musk. (Yes, that sentence is real. Yes, we’re still pretending this is Earth.)
Steve allegedly said:
“Elon wanted to be Dr. Evil with Starlink lasers. We said no. Now he’s pouting in his Mars condo.”
Texts from the Edge — Imagined but Highly Believable
[iMessage Chat – Unverified]
Elon: “You betrayed EVs. I trusted you.”
Trump: “Don’t be so sensitive, spaceman. It’s not personal. It’s politics.”
Elon: “Everything’s personal when you ruin my tax incentives.”
Trump: “You’re being a total Neural-Karen.”
— Delivered but not read.
Reconciliation or Mutual Launch Codes?
Despite the tension, Axios reports that the duo still “remain friends and allies.”
But friends don’t ghost your Starlink. Friends don’t cancel your NASA buddy. And friends, don’t turn your Tesla showcase into a BBQ where the brisket is more flammable than your stock price.
Trump recently joked on Truth Social:
“Elon’s a great guy. A little dramatic. But I still like his rockets. They go vroom.”
Musk hasn’t responded, but he did tweet a GIF of a bridge exploding with the caption: “Some bridges aren’t meant to last.”
America’s Favourite Dysfunctional Couple
So, is this the end?
Are we witnessing the final chapter of the Trump–Musk era? Or is this just another season finale in the longest-running political telenovela since Nixon met Elvis?
All we know is, one man wanted a satellite revolution. The other wanted BBQ and camera time. Both got burned.
And somewhere, in a bunker under Mar-a-Lago, Steve Bannon is cackling while glueing together a voodoo Tesla using lithium scraps and Fox News clippings.
Disclaimer: If you survived this explosive saga of egos, pork bills, and broken satellites, you need more. Like, now. Visit The Peak View Stories, where geopolitical farce meets Pulitzer-level sarcasm. It’s politics, but funnier, and with fewer indictments. Trust us. It’s like CSPAN, but with jokes and snacks.