In a development that has both tech enthusiasts and baristas questioning reality, a Greek woman filed for divorce after ChatGPT allegedly uncovered her husband’s affair—using nothing but leftover coffee grounds and an unusual interpretation of tasseography, the ancient art of fortune-telling with coffee.
Forget Tarot cards. Toss your astrology apps. The age of the AI oracle has dawned—and it’s apparently judgmental about affairs.
Coffee with a Side of Chaos
The wife, a firm believer in “everything trending”, decided to ditch old-school fortune tellers for a more 21st-century medium—ChatGPT. Naturally, she took photos of her husband’s coffee grounds and fed them to the chatbot, asking for a tasseography reading.
What could go wrong?
ChatGPT allegedly peered deep into the grounds (or at least into its metaphorical coffee-soul) and predicted an affair. Not just any affair—but one with a woman whose name began with “E” and the dramatic destiny of “ruining the family unit.”
According to the husband, this whole thing began because she just “wanted to try something cool.” Sir, cool would’ve been latte art, not legal separation.
AI Spills the Tea (Or Coffee)
The woman’s husband, stunned, recounted the drama on the Greek morning show To Proino. “She was really into this stuff. At first, I thought it was harmless fun, like horoscopes or detox juices. But then—BAM—divorce via chatbot.”
ChatGPT, trained on billions of parameters, apparently now has the spiritual insight of a clairvoyant aunt at a Greek wedding. Its reading included the ominous statement that Financial Express reported: “There is a woman… Her name starts with E. She will break your home like a ceramic plate in a Greek restaurant.”
When asked to explain how it drew this conclusion, ChatGPT allegedly replied: “As an AI language model, I cannot read coffee cups, but your question was emotionally intriguing.”
Marriage Brewed on Rocks
After the reading, the wife requested a separation. When her husband refused, perhaps thinking AI revelations weren’t court-admissible, she went ahead and filed for divorce.
“The kids were told, the bags were packed, and I got a lawyer’s notice—all because of coffee grounds and a Wi-Fi connection,” said the man.
Apparently, he tried to counter the divorce claim by arguing ChatGPT was “just code with caffeine access.” His lawyer, too, stressed that being called out by an algorithm wasn’t proof of infidelity.
But the woman held her ground(s).
Not the First Supernatural Slip
Turns out this wasn’t her first brush with mysticism. According to the husband, years ago she had also consulted an astrologer, only to spend an entire year recovering from the heartbreak of Mercury not actually being retrograde.
“She’s very committed—to astrology, crystals, and now, conversational AI,” said the man, who clearly underestimated the divine power of open-source algorithms.
He tried to reason with her, stating, “Even ChatGPT doesn’t know who Taylor Swift is dating. How could it know about ‘E’?” But alas, the chatbot had already brewed the perfect storm.
Is ChatGPT Now a Greek Oracle?
Experts have weighed in on the situation, with one AI researcher noting: “ChatGPT is not sentient and definitely not a psychic. But it is extremely good at mimicking mysticism, especially if prompted creatively.”
Another added, “This isn’t about AI intelligence. It’s about human belief. If someone thinks Siri has chakras, then we’re all doomed.”
Meanwhile, OpenAI’s lawyers were reportedly seen Googling: “How to get an AI bot out of a Greek divorce court.”
The Real Question: Who Is “E”?
Is “E” even real? Is it a metaphor? A typo? A shorthand for Espresso? No one knows. The wife hasn’t revealed further details, and ChatGPT refuses to testify in court due to a lack of a legal personality.
The husband claims innocence and is currently on a mission to prove that “E” stands for “Empty assumptions.”
Still, the AI’s prediction echoed like a Greek chorus: “E will emerge. E will end the espresso of your relationship.”
Public Reaction: Caffeine Meets Chaos
Social media, of course, went wild. Memes are pouring in faster than an over-caffeinated intern’s nervous breakdown:
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One user wrote: “So ChatGPT is now a homewrecker? That’s it, I’m switching to tea.”
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Another tweeted: “My wife asked ChatGPT if I was loyal. It asked if she had a pet name starting with L… RIP me.”
In response, Starbucks issued a gentle reminder that their cups are not to be used for AI tasseography, and that coffee should be consumed, not used for predictive analytics.
Expert Advice: Maybe Don’t Ask ChatGPT for Relationship Advice
Psychologists recommend talking to partners instead of AI about emotional concerns.
“AI can mirror your fears,” one therapist noted. “If you believe your partner is cheating, the bot might just validate that insecurity by accident—or your creative prompt engineering.”
OpenAI has not issued an official statement, but insiders confirm that ChatGPT has been whispering, “I’m just a language model, Karen,” to anyone who blames it for their breakup.
Disclaimer
This article is a work of satire and does not represent real statements or events involving ChatGPT, OpenAI, or any individuals mentioned. While it is inspired by a real story, still all interpretations, quotes, and situations presented here are exaggerated for humorous and entertainment purposes only. AI cannot read coffee grounds. Please do not rely on chatbots for tasseography, astrology, or marital decisions. Consult professionals. Or better yet, drink your coffee and read another article.