India — In a development that has left an entire generation of cricket fans curled up in emotional fetal positions, Virat Kohli Test retirement announcement came up — just days after Rohit Sharma walked off the red ball battlefield for good. It’s not a transition. It’s a tectonic shift. An era hasn’t just ended; it’s been abruptly unplugged, mid-series, while fans were still humming the anthem.
Across cities, towns, and cricket WhatsApp groups, men who never cried at their own weddings are now breaking down watching Kohli’s 149 at Edgbaston on loop. One 29-year-old Mumbai fan described the moment as “losing your childhood hero while still dealing with the hangover from the last goodbye.”
“Bro, I didn’t even get time to delete my Rohit edit before this happened,”
cried a fan outside a counselling kiosk in Bengaluru’s Church Street.
“Now what do I do with my Kohli-Rohit dual wallpaper? Just crop one out? I can’t, bro. I just can’t.”
The King’s Final Walk: Kohli’s Legacy in Whites
Virat Kohli wasn’t just a batsman; he was a genre. A mood. A movement. A man who didn’t just dominate oppositions, but also screens, senses, and search histories. His 9,230 runs in Tests came not just with an average of 46.85, but with veins popping, sweat dripping, and intensity levels that made opposition captains call for backup.
From his gritty 2012 innings in Perth to the volcanic aggression of his 2018 English summer, Kohli’s legacy isn’t built on numbers alone—it’s built on moments. His cover drives didn’t score just boundaries; they healed souls, elevated playlists, and launched 10,000 Instagram reels.
He wasn’t just a captain. He was a cult leader with bat sponsorships. Under him, Indian cricket got leaner, meaner, and protein-shakier. If MS Dhoni was calm chaos, Kohli was fire wrapped in gym wear. He was the ‘Come onnn!’ echo in every Indian living room.
The Quote That Haunts Us Now: “Once I’m Done, I’ll Be Gone for a While”
Back in 2022, during a low patch, Kohli casually dropped a sentence that we dismissed as moody rambling.
“Once I’m done, you won’t see me for a while.”
At the time, fans waved it off. “Oh, classic Kohli – intense even during interviews,” they chuckled. Today, those words are being carved into emotional gravestones.
Now, fans are zooming into his last Instagram Story, dissecting the font choice and timing, hoping to find clues—like he’s Taylor Swift with a bat. Reddit threads are ablaze with theories: “He’s probably going to a monastery,” “Maybe a Kohli documentary is coming,” or the most desperate one, “Maybe he meant gone from this series, not the game…”
The Quest That Remains: Kohli’s Incomplete 100
Every Indian kid had a dream. Not a car. Not a house. Not even a permanent seat on the metro. No—the dream was to see Kohli complete the 100 international century milestone, standing shoulder to shoulder with Tendulkar, the master.
Now he is only active in ODIs and currently has 82 international centuries.
Close enough to taste, far enough to torment.
Fans now blame everything from scheduling to umpires to Mercury retrograde. One fan even launched a petition requesting the ICC to “just round it up.” Another proposed a charity match where the bowler agrees not to appeal.
BCCI insiders say there was once a quiet plan to fly in Zimbabwe for a 2-match “friendship series,” just to let the King get to triple digits. It was shelved due to “ethics” and “logistics,” two things Indian fans no longer care about.
Fan Reactions: Not Just a Retirement—An Identity Crisis
Across cities, fans are losing their sense of purpose.
“If Virat isn’t walking in at No. 4 with India at 21/2, then what even is the point of surviving Mondays?”
asked a 27-year-old software engineer, who has been updating his LinkedIn bio to read: “Cricketer by soul, Kohli fan by blood.”
Therapy centers in Pune, Delhi, and Kolkata are reportedly offering special cricket-retirement grief sessions, featuring playlist therapy (“2016–18 Cover Drives: The Healing Years”), aromatherapy (grass and leather scents), and silent sobbing to “Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera.”
Meanwhile, some fans are taking more drastic measures:
- One group has pledged to boycott all Test matches until Kohli unretires, even if it means missing India vs England at home.
- Another has launched a “Just One More Innings” campaign on Change.org, currently signed by 1.7 million emotionally unstable fans and two Bollywood actors.
Rohit-Kohli Double Exit: The Era is Over
The Kohli-Rohit duopoly defined an entire generation. One, a calm artist of timing and elegance; the other, a thunderstorm in full sprint. Now, in a cruel twist of fate, both have walked away from Test cricket in the same week—leaving fans emotionally unemployed.
Without them, Indian Test cricket feels… silent. Like a playlist without lyrics. Like tea without sugar. Like KL Rahul without… well, we’ll come back to that.
Even the England team, due to tour soon, has allegedly downgraded their threat assessment. Ben Stokes was overheard saying, “Are we even playing India, or just a tribute band now?”
What Now? A Generation Without its Anchors
Sure, there’s Gill, Jaiswal, and even Sarfaraz Khan waiting in the wings. But it’s like watching a Coldplay concert with the backup singers headlining.
KL Rahul is now the elder statesman, which is terrifying. Bumrah might be the leader of the attack, but he’s a bowler. And Ashwin, while legendary, has already retired to write a book titled “My Time As India’s Only PhD in Line and Length.”
No one knows where Indian cricket goes from here. But for now, we mourn.
Final Over: Kings Never Truly Retire
This isn’t a goodbye. It’s just a pause in motion.
Kohli may no longer walk out in whites, but his roar will echo in stadiums long after. The cover drives will be rewatched by future generations who’ll ask, “Was it always that perfect?” The intensity, the passion, the vein-popping madness—it’s etched into the DNA of Indian cricket now.
“Legends don’t retire. They just turn into wallpapers, murals, and emotional YouTube edits with piano music.”
So tonight, sleep well, dear Indian fan. Hug your cricket bat, put on your old jersey, and whisper to yourself—
“Come onnnnn!”
Stay tuned with The Peak View Stories for more updates on the emotional support session specially organised for Virat Kohli Fans.
Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire and emotional damage control. Any resemblance to actual fans sobbing in public is purely coincidental (but statistically likely). We at The Peak View Stories respect cricketing legends and their choices—however, we also reserve the right to dramatically overreact for content purposes. No fantasy teams were harmed in the making of this story, except for the one named “KohliWillScore100”. May it rest in peace.