It was a quiet week on YouTube. Cats were meowing. Mukbangs were chewing. And TravelWithJo, a modest channel hosted by Jyoti Malhotra, was gaining traction for her upbeat takes on dusty highways, dhabas, and where to find the best roadside chole kulche. But beneath the thumbnails and travel hacks lay a sinister scroll bar.
Because, dear reader, Jo wasn’t just vlogging the highways of Haryana. She was driving straight into a high-stakes international espionage ring.
Yes, that Jyoti. The same one who gave a 15-minute TED-style talk on the perfect bus route from Panipat to Rishikesh. Turns out, she allegedly gave another kind of tour guide—to Pakistani intelligence operatives.
And what was the ticket to this treacherous terrain? A visa to Pakistan in 2023, procured by shady commission agents who probably offer both passport-sized photos and moral ambiguity as part of the package deal.
Meet Danish: Diplomat by Day, Heartbreaker by Chat App
Once in Pakistan, Jyoti did what many travelers do—she fell for the local charm. That “charm” came in the form of Ehsan-ur-Rahim alias Danish, a staffer at the Pakistan High Commission in Delhi. His hobbies reportedly included:
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Posing as a romantic hero
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Collecting army base coordinates
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Whispering “Snapchat is more secure” in WhatsApp group chats
Danish had the charisma of a talkative Uber driver and the discretion of a neighborhood auntie. His seduction strategy? Shower his targets with promises of marriage, Bali vacations, and PayTM recharge packs.
For Jyoti, it was like joining a dating app called “Spynder – Find Your Covert Operative Today.”
Soon, Danish facilitated Jo’s grand introduction to a rogue’s gallery of Pakistani Intelligence Operatives (PIOs). Among them:
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Shakir aka Rana Shahbaz, whose number Jyoti saved as “Jatt Randhawa.” Because nothing says incognito like sounding like a Punjabi rapper.
Together, they would form a secret WhatsApp group presumably titled: “Mission Impossible: Haryana Chapter.”
Secret Missions and Snapchat Filters: The Unholy Alliance
Authorities claim Jyoti shared sensitive Indian location data with her PIO pals, all while maintaining her travel blogger persona. A chilling possibility: She might’ve reviewed a military cantonment and rated it 3.5 stars for lacking restroom facilities.
She reportedly portrayed Pakistan in a “positive light” on social media, which is code for: “she posted reels with emotional Urdu poetry and no border drama.” Spies these days don’t use invisible ink or carrier pigeons—they use Reels with Sufi music overlays.
And the cherry on top? Jyoti allegedly took a romantic trip to Bali with one of the operatives. From India to espionage to Indonesian beaches—it’s a Netflix series waiting to happen. Working title: “Spy, Lie, Repeat.”
From Malerkotla With Love (and UPI Fraud)
But no bad Bollywood plot is complete without a sub-plot starring a grieving woman, digital romance, and random PhonePe transactions.
Enter: Guzala, a 32-year-old widow from Malerkotla, Punjab.
Her story begins like a melodrama:
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Lonely widow visits Pakistan High Commission for a visa
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Meets Danish, who activates his “Casual Romantic Trap” setting
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Switches from WhatsApp to Telegram (because “it’s safer, jaanu”)
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Receives promises of marriage, voice notes, and cash transfers
Danish, who by now was one Tinder swipe away from being declared a national threat, sent her ₹10,000 via PhonePe and ₹20,000 via Google Pay.
But here’s where things turn suspiciously Excel-sheety:
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He instructed her to forward the money in suspicious micro-transactions
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₹1,800 to one person, ₹899 to another, ₹699 to yet another
We don’t know what kind of operation this was, but it sounds a lot like paying for your Netflix, Amazon, and Duolingo accounts through shady intermediaries.
Investigators now believe the operation was a hybrid of espionage and part-time accounting.
Banu & Guzala: Sisterhood of the Travelling Spies
Of course, a true espionage ring isn’t complete without a bestie recruit. Enter Banu Nasreena, also a widow from Malerkotla, who accompanied Guzala to the High Commission. Sources suggest they had this conversation:
Guzala: “He promised me marriage and asked me to install Telegram.”
Banu: “Awww. Install it for me too.”
The two allegedly obtained fast-tracked visas and joined the ever-expanding WhatsApp group of amateur spies, hopeless romantics, and digital wallet experts.
At this point, it’s fair to say the recruitment process for Pakistani intelligence had lower entry barriers than an MLM scheme.
The Student, the SIM Dealer, and the Defence Expo Debacle
The cast expands further, like an underfunded spy movie with way too many characters.
Devinder Singh Dhillon, student from Kaithal
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Allegedly recruited during a religious pilgrimage to Pakistan.
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Sent videos of Patiala cantonment, possibly in between taking selfies and chai breaks.
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Currently holds the title of “Most Naïve Human Ever to Use Snapchat Near a Military Facility.”
Arman, SIM card specialist from Nuh
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Supplied Indian SIMs to operatives, because that’s what every good spy plot needs: telecom infrastructure.
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Transferred money across accounts, likely while watching IPL.
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Attended Defence Expo 2025, on instructions from Pakistan.
Because obviously, when you’re spying, the best idea is to visit the most high-security, high-surveillance event in the country. Front row seat, bro.
It’s believed Arman came back with a Defence Expo brochure, three pamphlets, and several felonies.
Also Read: Edi Rama Takes a Knee for the Italian PM Giorgia Meloni, Modi Takes It Personally: The Namaste That Broke India’s Internet
Operation “Emotional Vulnerability”: Spycraft in the Age of Romance & Recharge
Indian officials say this was all part of a bigger espionage network aimed at manipulating vulnerable individuals—especially those facing emotional, social, or financial hardship.
Common tools of recruitment:
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Digital flattery
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₹10,000 transfers on weekends
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Long romantic chats that go from “good morning jaan” to “send army base coordinates pls 💕”
It’s spycraft meets soap opera. Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai: Border Edition.
Charges Filed: Nyaya Sanhita, Official Secrets & The Big Fat Bail Applications
Authorities have charged Jyoti and crew under:
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Section 152 of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita — the new criminal code that sounds like it should come with Sanskrit subtitles
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Sections 3, 4, and 5 of the Official Secrets Act, 1923, which has suddenly leapt from history textbooks into the WhatsApp forwards of your family group
The case has been handed over to the Economic Offences Wing in Hisar, because this spy ring featured more mobile transactions than an average Diwali sale.
Final Thoughts: What Can We Learn From This?
Let’s summarize:
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Don’t fall in love with anyone named Danish unless they come with dairy and sugar.
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Never trust someone who tells you Snapchat is safer than WhatsApp.
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If a friend says, “Come with me to the High Commission, it’ll be fun,” run.
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And lastly, if someone offers you Bali tickets in exchange for secrets, maybe just take a train to Shimla instead.
Keep Laughing, Stay Alert, Don’t Spy
In a world where influencers become informants and SIM cards become spy tools, only one thing can keep you truly safe: critical thinking, strong passwords, and a healthy dose of satire.
So go on, dear reader:
- Share this.
- Laugh at this.
- Don’t repeat this.
And always remember: Real spies don’t vlog.
DISCLAIMER
This article contains satire, sarcasm, and unverified emotional truths. If you are a YouTuber, a Pakistani diplomat, or a widow from Malerkotla considering romance and espionage as your backup career, please read with caution. Any resemblance to real people is probably very accurate because, well, this actually happened. If this article doesn’t make you laugh, read it again with snacks. For more such satirical articles, read Peak View Stories.